The Labyrinth

Hamsters on a wheel

For many years I watched how my family lived. And I always wanted to understand why it works that way. Why people, like hamsters on a wheel, can’t get out of their life scenarios.

Dead ends: the same scenario

People often walk down the same corridor again and again. When a woman asked me why she couldn’t get married, the Wheel of Fortune came up: she lives the same scenario over and over, picking the same type of partner, one she can’t build a marriage with. To get out of that loop, she needs to change her usual reactions and work on herself. Until the lesson is learned, nothing will work: what hasn’t been lived through has to be repeated.

From childhood the mind gets used to reacting in certain ways. A girl who watched her parents run away from arguments grows up and walks away from difficult conversations herself — because she soaked up that reaction like a sponge and now lives by it.

Going back: the hardest place

To get out, sometimes you have to go back to where it hurts most. In practice a person goes through their most painful trigger points, their hardest childhood memories. And until they live through that, they won’t get out of the loop of repeating scenarios.

People are often afraid to look at all this. But if we don’t look at the hardest moments of our lives, the ones that brought us here, we won’t solve our problem.

Stop and look at it differently

Sometimes in the labyrinth you have to stop. There comes a moment when the usual way just doesn’t work any more. And then life seems to say: “Now stop. Look at everything from another side.” The person changes not the situation, but how they see it.

And you don’t have to see the whole way. The Hermit’s lantern doesn’t light the whole road at once — only the next step. “I don’t need to know the whole route. It’s enough to see the next step.”

The way out

A reading doesn’t lead a person out of the labyrinth for them. It shows where the dead end is, where the turn is and what the next step is. Any question shows a possible path, where a person might go. The walking is up to them.